HAM

Baru nyadar kalo belum nulis apapun di tahun yang baru ini ^^

hari ini gw sebel tapi terus hepi haha...

gw sebel karena:

heran dijaman modern begini masih aja ada yang maksain biar semuanya itu sama!!

Padahal dimana-mana orang-orang sibuk mengikrarkan beda itu asik, beda itu keren, bla bla....

taoi nyatanya masih aja ada yang ga ngerti maksud dan arti dari kata 'beda'

I'm Back!! :)

Hey Hey Hey! It's Me! ^0^

Whoaaaa.....it's been so long I haven't written anything here!!*feeling guilty now*

I do miss coming here and reminisnce the good ol' days of fangirling hihihihi..........

Now I'm back with more things to write hehehee....new info and news about myself of course and about what had happened to me so far, and about what dream to reach in the future time...

OK, I'll start with what I started to leave behind...

For the past 2.5 years, I spent all my free (and sometimes full time) dealing and spazzing to the Korean celebrities that I have known from friends, at first. Was it tiring? Yes! Was it fun? Yes! Was it benefited for my life? Errr.....yes and no! hahahahaa..

Why is that? Well, let me tell you about it, a little bit only :p

All the crazy (and stupid) and undefinable things I did were all good experiences. If I have to count all the money I spent to run after those cute idols, I would have been traveling to Europe now!! hahahaaa.....so why did I do that? I, myself, don't know why hahahaa...Hedonism is probably of the answer to that question :p the rest are just stupid answer I guess hehehee... *just an excuse*

The following question would be, Did I regret or did I treasure the moment? For sure,  I treasured the friendships. I met many new people and since we share the same interests, the conversation flew just like that. Though now, some of us are busy with our own life; few of us are still having a good online chat; still talking about our idols a little bit :D but above all, we did talk about other things, about life, family and our dreams too :) 

Next, Another thing that is changing in my life is that I am working in a new place now. I am still an English teacher but now for travel trainee students. I decided to take this job as the new challenge and opportunities of improving myself. Being an English tutor, I spent my time working as not only teaching English subject but also expanding my knowledge by sharing what I have learned so far in life. I tried to transfer more energy to my students and and made them realize that learning is not only sitting in a class with a book in front of you and a pen in your hand. Learning is greater beyond that. I am so lucky that I am blessed with the ability to sense the arts. I can sing, I use my skill to entertain people. I love performing arts and I try to learn more about it. I transfer my knowledge by helping the students to express themselves on stage for theater and play performance. I have no problem of speaking in front of thousands of people. I train people on how to control their emotion, mimic, gesture, voice control and body language while presenting. I also help them how to be the power in presenting and how to make their points clear using slides. Now, I challenged myself how to deal with the tourism world, one thing that I knew how to do that from the step-by-step theory from my college book but something I never try to face in real life experience. I love traveling, I know how to serve people, I was told how to give good service and I'm ready to travel more with this new challenge in this new place. English is my major and I've been teaching this language since I was still a university student. 13 years has passed and I'm waiting for more years to come but now I started to realize that this can be more fun than just a school subject :)

I can't wait to see what this will bring me to, all I know is that I'm in and ready to play more! ^o^

Okay, I think that's enough for this long-awaited-post :p
I will write more tomorrow.

Till then..

*like a stone*

Escaping the world again...

Submerged in the highest level of the maximum saturation in life

Trying hard not to make this as my favorite dwelling

Why oh why it really DOES comfortable!!

LOSER...

Have this word ever crossed your mind?

Like a bell it is timed

and now, mine is ringing...

like a school bell, the sound is loud and clear

For sure it will end

It is timed and it's ringing now

It will end anyway...

.

.

.

.

.

.

When??

Untitled

I am BORED!!!!!!

Level: Maximum

Causes: Most probably --> Unknown

Symptom: Hallucinating, negative thinking, horny, drifting away, delusional

Effect: Insomniac, idiotic, famish, puzzled, etc.

How to cure: N/A at the moment

Treatment: N/A at the moment

Indication: Have highest possibility to be happened again sometime in the future

K-drama

My Name is Km Sam-soon vs. Still wants to Marry

All pict credit goes to dramabeans, koreandrama.org, other sources as tagged and to some other whom I didnt remember their names T.T but Thx so much for sharing ^^

Kemaren maen ke Dramabeans dengan maksud cari tau soal drama-drama yang lagi tayang eh taunya malah nemu artikel tentang MNIKSS berikut piku-piku asik hehe.....salah satu yang paling bikin kaget adalah fotonya Lee Sun Ah *pemeran wanita utama dalam serial drama My Name is Kim Sam-soon) yang ternyata ujud aslinya cantik banget dan seksi hehe....

Kenapa gw kaget? Ya karena emang waktu maen jadi KSS dia chubby banget!! ^^ dan dengan baju yang jauh banget dari kesan seksi nih cewek satu emang aktris hebat and most of all, I love her as KSS. She mampu menghidupkan karakter KSS in such a beautiful way that makes all drama lovers love her; not only in this drama but also in ral life. Pas kemaren masuk ke dramabeans, begitu liat gambarnya ama Hyun Bin langsung kebayang tuh drama haha.....it brings back the memory dan jadi bikin pengen nonton lagi tuh drama :D

Beruntung banget waktu nemu tuh drama gw langsung beli, karena emang ceritanya bagus and so close with the real life situation. Dan hepinya lagi sub nya lumayan lah, ga aneh-aneh amat haha.....Walau agak-agak ga sesuai dengan kenyataan (namanya juga drama..) endingnya hampir sama ama Still Wants to Marry. Bukan tipe cinderella story yang happily ever after pas bagian endingnya dimana sang pemeran utama pria dan wanitanya naik kuda putih berjalan menuju horison sambil saling tatap hehehe.......tapi lebih kepada kesimpulan yang manis for both of the leads.

Eh tapi barusan sambil browsingbrowsing lagi about MNIKSS, di playlist kok pas banget muternya OST. SWTM?? Alhasil jadi keingat juga ama tuh drama :P *plinplanbangetsih* Masih ingat awal-awal order tuh drama ke Ivy gara-gara sinopsisnya yang menceritakan kisah 3 orang wanita modern yang udah berada di usia 30-an, jam waktu yang udah mepet buat nemuin pasangan idaman *ampun dah bahasa gw haha...* Ceritanya sih seputar kehidupan nih tiga cewek. Bagaimana mereka pertama kali bertemu terus mengalami hal-hal yang bikin frustasi, marah, sedih dan bahagia bersama, dan juga tentang karir mereka dan tentu saja ga seru kalo ga da cerita soal their love life ;) Tertarik ama ceritanya karena berasa kisah hidup ditampilkan ke layar kaca hahaha.... *please deh....* Terlebih lagi waktu plotnya bikin hepi banget haha...si leading man yang masih berondong fall deeply in love to the-36- years-old leading lady!! What a wonderful world it is for all single lady outside to experience love as pure as this ;) *langsung komatkamitbilangIwish!!* Sudah mulai tertarikkah untuk menonton drama ini? ;)) Semoga.... :P

Dan ternyata emang sesuai dengan kata hati...tuh drama emang ok punya, ceritanya fresh banget and gw juga suka endingnya....ga da janji muluk-muluk dari kedua tokoh utamanya. Emang sih secara umum dram-dama ini kan selalu happy ending tapi penyajiannya ok punya ^^ I love it!! Ditambah dengan adanya Kim Bum disitu, nambah deh nyandunya, so biased gitu lho hohoho......*evilish laugh*

Nah sekarang jadi tambah bingung kan?? Musti re-run yang mana nih?? Time is ticking and sekarang udah sore....Salah satu musti nunggu weekend berikutnya nih :P Yang jelas dua-duanya worth watching. Keduanya punya senjata ampuh yang mana masing-masing bisa bikin drama lovers mengharu-biru, maki-maki, ketawa ampe keram perut, termehek-mehek, terpesona, terinspirasi dan tak lupa tentunya tetap percaya bahwa there's always someone for somebody ^^ No matter how bad you are or how despertae you are just believe that love will find its way <--- this is my alter ego who speaks ^^;

Sekarang saatnya innne minnie minnie mo, who's the winner for tonight's show? hehe....

Ciao...

16 Januari 2011

Mellow me di Minggu sore waktu Soroako berselimutkan langit nan mendung tanpa angin...

-sk-

Blue December

Yeah, I'm sure you will be surprised seeing me in this wee hour still posting something, a rant to be exact....

When it comes to the end of the year, I found that I always feel that something is not finished yet but still I can't even finished all of them.

I always feel the urge to express and tell what i have in mind for the whole year...

I am in a condition where I feel like I am alone though I am in a crowd

I always feel that I am no one's favourite though I have plenty of friends who love me back

I am lost in this big big world alone...

I am a big loser to my own life!!

I am nobody

I am me, still the same me, the old me...

Years gone by and now we've come to the end of 2010...

Many priceless and valuable memories happened this year.

Friendship that I am sure will last forever

Career which is soon going to be good and less worried me

New interest to some young Korean namjas hehe....

Problems....same problems with a colleague

A come and go situation

and many more....

Time goes by but one thing remains in my life...

I am still me, still the same me

the old me who has never changed

has never tried to change

I am still me, the lazy me

the old lazy girl who still loves playing round with her own life

the one who loves other but not to be loved

the one who still waits for the miracle to happen in her life

the one who loves God but still leave HIM behind

the one who loves life but ever never be loved??? (haiz....I should've scratched this but couldn't find the way to do that....)

I often asked my self the same question

over and over again

WHY????

WHY this???

WHY me??

[to be continued]

Yogya, December 2010

To A Friend

As the night crawling slowly and the music started to play "That's what friends are for", that's when I realized that today was such a very emotional day. I'm going deep, so deep and melancholic...

People come and go in one's life and so does a friend. One that will last forever is the friendship.

To a friend who has been a best friend and will always be a bestfriend for me, I thanked this person for being present in cheering the days, spending weekends with laughter, spending the nights talking about the weirdest things we have in common, ending the nights sharing all our (im)possible dreams and to the day that went away with wonderful memories.

There'll sure be time to reminiscence the days and to create lots of new memories once again. Without any doubt, I'm looking forward to being part of it.

A friend is the one who will still have faith in you and the one who stays next to you when all people leave you just because you are trying to be YOU...

So, thank you for standing next to me when I needed you most.

Time to stop this almost midnight story. I said what I had and wanted to say.

"...in good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more..."

-That's What Friends Are For-

To a friend,

I love you and miss you already...

-Mellowish Me-

10:10pm, 19th December 2010 on the bus from Soroako to Makassar

E.M.P.T.Y

Your heart is empty...empty...empty

Your heart is empty...empty...empty

[JYJ, Empty]

Yeah, JYJ is right....

never thought my heart would be so empty like this

never felt i would've come this way

never crossed in mind that this could be it

I am in a crowd but still I feel lonely....

My Namja!!

credit: dailytofu

My Love for this man is growing stronger =) Right after meeting him in person at the airport, walking besides him and watching him singing and dancing on stage made me realize that he is nothing but just an ordinary guy same as me, you and us. The difference is that he is richer and more famous than all of us keke....

It's been a month and just want to scream my lungs out:
"Bogoshipo nae sarang, Xiah Junsu!!!!!!!!"

Losing Grip

It's been 4 years since u left us.
And yet the 4th is the hardest.

...and here we go again...

I hate when it comes but it keeps on coming.

The feelings of I-want-to-disappear-from-this-world accompanied with an I-don't-know-what-to-do is sure not something I badly needed now.

Trying to recall the memory of when this feeling started.

and it wasn't that long ago.

Will it stop or will it stay?

Will it grow or will it die?

the answer is nowhere but here, here with me?

Put the blame on you and everybody's here

still it doesn't satisfy the "me" side

DAMN!!!!!!!

SOR

11292010

#@$%&

phew…

many things get on my nerves. but i don’t know how to express it. i just feel such kind of lost. sometimes i feel numb and hatred are all over my mind. sometimes i am very ignorance to others, or befriendly though. i keep all of me myself then find it difficult to share with others. one day i am in a rush of love, another i am shrinking in jealosy and anger.

Otokajji??

-sk-

May 17th, 2010

Why …?

Why?

Been waiting for the days to come,

Where intimate fills the air

How nice would it be??

A moment … just for a moment

It is worth to remember

A moment … just a second

It is no longer there

Life...

Full of secrets and surprises

Reality and imagination become one

Nobody can guess what’s next

Not me …

Not you …

Not even us …

So...

Why wonder??

-Mei-

19^th March 2005

A Fool...

A Fool…

u shake my world without warning,

no sound…

in a very smooth way.

startled with that…

it began to response..

slowly but sure,

this lonely heart of mine

is no longer exist.

far beyond my concious…

I am stepping out leaving things behind,

things that will remain silent and unspoken

Hmm…..

no……

it’s not okay!

or …..

ok, just go on….

but….

Ough….!!

somebody help me??!!

feeling doubt and worry…

will i still be the stupid me?

will i still be in the same track again?

will i ended in the same way?

dissapointed adn neglected??

AGAIN………..?

-Mei-

May 27th, 2007

Me and My world

Me and My World

I hate the world today

Feels like ignored inside of me

Those laughing and intimate were gone

Leaving me and my world..

I hate the world today!

Those things are suck!!!

Emptiness and vapidness,

Lived inside me and my world

I hate the world today

Knowing why this could happen

Happiness and purity come to me

Why don’t you……?

-Mei-

[November, 2001]

Reality vs. Time

Time is a good healer

A moment in your life and that’s all

Never worry, just sits back and be healed

Like a scar on your flesh

Turn into horrible mimic

Glancing at, never forget

Sailing across seven seas would be nothing

When will reality become friends?

-Mei-

12th March 2006

Reality vs. Time

Time is a good healer

A moment in your life and that’s all

Never worry, just sits back and be healed

Like a scar on your flesh

Turn into horrible mimic

Glancing at, never forget

Sailing across seven seas would be nothing

When will reality become friends?

-Mei-

12th March 2006

Aku, yang kunanti dan yang kucari

Aku tak tau siapa aku

Yang aku tahu pasti aku berada di ujung semua pengharapan yang aku punya

Aku hanyalah seorang yang berdiri di pinggir jalan

Aku menunggu dan menunggu sampai tiba waktunya

Waktu bagiku untuk menemukan sesuatu yang selama ini kucari dan kunanti

Tak tau sampai kapan hari itu akan tiba

Aku ingin jujur pada aku sendiri tapi sampai saat ini

Yang kucari dan kunanti itu apa aku tak tau

Yang aku tau pasti aku sekarang harus berjalan dan berjalan

Apakah nantinya di ujung jalan aku akan berhenti atau adakah yang membuatku berhenti

Aku tak pernah tau, kamu pun tak pernah tau

Hanya Dialah yang tahu, yang Maha tahu

Akan seperti apakah sesuatu yang menantiku di ujung jalan ini

Apakah itu sesuatu yang kucari dan kunanti selama ini?

Semoga!!

SRK,

17th May 2010

-sk-

Cara Baru

May 5th, 2007

GUE BARU AJA BELAJAR BIKIN BLOG…TERNYATA GAMPANG JUGA. TADINYA GUE PIKIR GUE LEMOT, TERNYATA GUE CUMA GA SABAR AJA NUNGGUIN TAPILNA BLOG GUE…KADANG ADA BANYAK HAL BARU YANG KITA RASA KITA GA BISA, BUKAN KARENA KITA GA TAU, TAPI…KESABARAN DALAM MENUNGGU DAN BERUSAHA LAH YANG PALING PENTING…

Back to Zero

Selama waktu masih ada kesempatan akan selalu muncul. Itu satu yang gw yakini bakal terjadi dalam hidup gw. Walau sering kecewa namun gw ga kapok. dibilang belajar dari pengalaman sebenarnya ga juga sih....buktinya selama ini gw masih berada di jalan yang sama walau beda jalur. Sering gw berpikir,kenapa ada manusia kayak gw ini ya, yang selalu aja (kata orang2 sih) memilih waktu, tempat, dan cara yang sama terutama dalam hal yang satu ini, JATUH CINTA. 

Lima tahun berlalu, Agustus 2004, waktu terakhir kali gw merasa lega, senang dan tahu apa itu pembuktian dari hati. Kadang gw merasa gw ini bodoh tapi itulah namanya cinta. lu ga bakalan tau rasanya jadi bodoh dan merana karena cinta alo belum ngerasain sendiri. Juli 2009, gw ngerasain lagi rasa itu lagi. anehnya seperti mengulang kembali apa yang dulu pernah terjadi. Kalo gw boleh bilang sih, same script different cast. cuma beda orangnya aja dan settingnya. jalan cerita kurang lebih sama. 

Pernah gw nanya ma diri sendiri ga bosan lu?

Setengah dari diri gw bilang, ya iyalah...ga da kemajuan gitu lhoo..

yang namanya hidup ya harus ada perubahan. tapi bagian lain dari diri gw merasa apa salahnya mengulang cerita yang sama? kan semua itu terjadi tanpa rencana. gw juga ga ngatur kao harus bulan ini, ama orang ini, terus naik apa,mo kemana, gila2an apa kagak. It's just happened like that. 

This is me...Kalo gw dah suka ama tuh orang, gw kejar ampe gw tau tuh orang uga punya rasa yang sama ga ama gw. Gw ga peduli dia udah punya pacar (kalo udah jadi bininya ya diusahakan ga lah hehehehe...). Yang punya rasa kan gw, dan gw cuma pengen bilang sama lo kalo gw suka ama lo. kao lo ga suka ya udah, kalo lo suka ya ayuk jadian. That's all.  cuma gitu doang, ga repot kok. but still,ingat juga dong kita kan tinggal didaerah timur dengan budaya timur, so emang tiap gw lakuin hal ini, tuh pria2 pada kaget semua hahahaha......dan tentu aja nolak gw, dengan ya alasan2 yang standar lah.  gw suka ama lo tapi sebagai teman, kenapa lo bisa suka ma gw, dan seribu alasan yang norak deh pokoknya. 

bersambung....(ngantuk soalnya)