Blue December

Yeah, I'm sure you will be surprised seeing me in this wee hour still posting something, a rant to be exact....

When it comes to the end of the year, I found that I always feel that something is not finished yet but still I can't even finished all of them.

I always feel the urge to express and tell what i have in mind for the whole year...

I am in a condition where I feel like I am alone though I am in a crowd

I always feel that I am no one's favourite though I have plenty of friends who love me back

I am lost in this big big world alone...

I am a big loser to my own life!!

I am nobody

I am me, still the same me, the old me...

Years gone by and now we've come to the end of 2010...

Many priceless and valuable memories happened this year.

Friendship that I am sure will last forever

Career which is soon going to be good and less worried me

New interest to some young Korean namjas hehe....

Problems....same problems with a colleague

A come and go situation

and many more....

Time goes by but one thing remains in my life...

I am still me, still the same me

the old me who has never changed

has never tried to change

I am still me, the lazy me

the old lazy girl who still loves playing round with her own life

the one who loves other but not to be loved

the one who still waits for the miracle to happen in her life

the one who loves God but still leave HIM behind

the one who loves life but ever never be loved??? (haiz....I should've scratched this but couldn't find the way to do that....)

I often asked my self the same question

over and over again

WHY????

WHY this???

WHY me??

[to be continued]

Yogya, December 2010

To A Friend

As the night crawling slowly and the music started to play "That's what friends are for", that's when I realized that today was such a very emotional day. I'm going deep, so deep and melancholic...

People come and go in one's life and so does a friend. One that will last forever is the friendship.

To a friend who has been a best friend and will always be a bestfriend for me, I thanked this person for being present in cheering the days, spending weekends with laughter, spending the nights talking about the weirdest things we have in common, ending the nights sharing all our (im)possible dreams and to the day that went away with wonderful memories.

There'll sure be time to reminiscence the days and to create lots of new memories once again. Without any doubt, I'm looking forward to being part of it.

A friend is the one who will still have faith in you and the one who stays next to you when all people leave you just because you are trying to be YOU...

So, thank you for standing next to me when I needed you most.

Time to stop this almost midnight story. I said what I had and wanted to say.

"...in good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more..."

-That's What Friends Are For-

To a friend,

I love you and miss you already...

-Mellowish Me-

10:10pm, 19th December 2010 on the bus from Soroako to Makassar

E.M.P.T.Y

Your heart is empty...empty...empty

Your heart is empty...empty...empty

[JYJ, Empty]

Yeah, JYJ is right....

never thought my heart would be so empty like this

never felt i would've come this way

never crossed in mind that this could be it

I am in a crowd but still I feel lonely....

My Namja!!

credit: dailytofu

My Love for this man is growing stronger =) Right after meeting him in person at the airport, walking besides him and watching him singing and dancing on stage made me realize that he is nothing but just an ordinary guy same as me, you and us. The difference is that he is richer and more famous than all of us keke....

It's been a month and just want to scream my lungs out:
"Bogoshipo nae sarang, Xiah Junsu!!!!!!!!"